Day 77

Here are just some of the obvious ways to measure Kathy’s recovery progress to date. She can speak (with her own lovely voice). She can swallow like a champ, and eat and drink whatever she likes without assistance. She can carry on a phone conversation such that you would never know she has been brain injured. With moderate assistance (mechanical and human) she can walk, and her mobility is improving by the day. Her long term memory is just as healthy as ever, and her short term memory deficits improve every day, responsive to therapy. Her strength and balance are coming back. “The look” has returned, renewed, rewound, and ready for action, apparently intent on making up for lost time.

She’s being reacquainted with the experience of fun. She almost won a ping pong match with Waylon and Avalon (nets just get in the way). We have ventured into the world with friends and family: wheelchairing at Hendry’s Beach, poolside lunch gathering at my current lodgings, movies with Abby and Ashley.

But mostly Kathy does rehab time, often with me along for the therapy. Here in my new favorite Santa Barbara hangout (its dining room rivals the hospital cafeteria’s for open hearts per capita).

I’ll bet I’ve met well over a hundred regulars here at Cottage Rehabilitation Hospital. Many are recovering patients, others are their recoverers – the doctors, nurses, and attentive staff (made up in large part by returning patients).  And I’ve met some you could call, without stretching the definition of the word too far, recovered. Of those who leave rehab for their homes a small number might be called that, if you could say they and those who love them will all go forward feeling themselves renewed, not compromised.

By that definition of recovery, Kathy is already there. She has progressed to the point where I know we will carry with us the essentials of our life together and, on top of that, a clearer, larger, more colorful, and more textured sense of the day to day. Plus for me, a better appreciation of the hard work and kindness of not only the caregivers but also the caregiven, those who gracefully and heroically accept the loving, hands-on, intimate attention of strangers. Kathy has done both now. I guess I’ve never known how to feel completely humbled. I do now.

For Kathy there remains a long but, every passing day, less uncertain battle.

19 Comments on

  1. What joyous words! Now, what was the number of our favorite Big Sur camp spot? How about an Independence Day 2014 reunion of friends and family? We’ll book the whole place. Bravo Kathy!

  3. Dear Richard,
    This has been great news the past few posts, forgive me for not commenting. In the past we discussed the “Look”. Now that she has it back, I have an idea for the two of you at Halloween… let Kathy ride in a wheelchair as Joan Crawford and with you pushing it as Betty Davis from the movie Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Kathy could set a silver platter in her lap with a Rat in it, or carry a wire hanger with her giving the “look” and shaking the wire hanger at people. It may be an obscure reference, but for those who get the joke, it would be a costume to remember. Just a thought. Halloween is coming up and it is never too early to think about these things.

  4. I wake up each day to see if there is more news on Kathy’s recovery and blessing from our good Lord. Please know that we continue to pray for your family daily. Can’t wait to dance with you both to Back Bay Betty’s blues or have a sip at our favorite watering hole! Looking forward to every update! xoxoxo

  5. just laughing at the above post and count me in for Big Sur….lets not until next year for that!! I have seen Kathy shoot that look at you very recently.. during our poolside visit! I cannot wait to hear The Giggle… Keep up the great work Santa Barbara peeps ! You have given us so much! love and prayers continue..Stacy

  6. Thank you so much for the wonderful update…amazing is all I can say, of you BOTH…wow wow wow….keep up the good work….prayers continue here….God bless you both….so happy to read this post this morning before I start my day….Patti

  8. Thank you so much Richard for all the love, effort and grace you put into keeping all of us involved in Kathy’s recovery! I was with Gail and Stacy when they spoke to Kathy before their trip to SB. My heart skipped a beat and tears welled up in my eyes when I heard her say…..Linda Cardinale? My name never sounded sweeter! I’d love to be part of any gathering when she is ready…..Sending Love to you all. Linda

  11. Yahooooooo! Richard you made my day. I have been visualizing her laughing and talking using n a photo i saw of her relaxing on the beach. I pray God will grant her the blessing to sit in the sand next summer. C’mon Kathy, keep walking and talking! Blessings to you all!

  12. Thank you Richard and Hello Kathy! Through your posts over these long weeks, you’ve taken us places everyone should have the opportunity to go, if only to cry some and feel their own heart beating. Keep up the good work and amazing progress. 🙂

  13. Richard, thank you so very much for the updates. Today’s post brings tears of joy, happiness and humility. Way to go Kathy!!!! And….way to go Richard. You two are truly a pair and I am thankful that she has you at her side. She

  15. Kathy, you are amazing! both John and I wish you all the best. You have come so far and are doing so well. we love you. Judy and John Fairweather

  17. Thank you Richard, for keeping up the posts. I thrive on those positive stories, and continue to pray for the best recovery for you both..Look forward to seeing you Kathy, someday, when you are ready for more
    .

  19. Dear Kathy and Richard,

    I just heard what has happened to you. I am sending you love, positive energy and prayers.
    It’s been many years since we have done Labor and Delivery together… and I always knew you were a strong determined woman and a truly a special person. I am looking forward to hear about your continued rehab journey.

    With Lots of Love,
    Lynn McCrudden

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