Day 71
The most inspirational people I know, after Kathy, are identical twins. They have diverged in the paths through life they’ve taken, but each of them admires and loves the other’s chosen path. One of their choices is to have become best friends. I believe that no one could be better educated in the truly important verities of life than the father, or the mother, of such women. That’s one way that Kathy and I have been blessed.
Kathy is flowering into another Kathy, one that’s exactly like the lovely and regal and inscrutable woman I’ve been in love with and baffled by for decades, and also into another flower. I see her becoming, like her daughters, someone strangely different and still somewhat the same, a kind of identical twin of herself. Having twins has been, and is, the great pleasure of our lives. Not that there haven’t been setbacks. Yes indeed, there have been setbacks. But they have become the beautifully fulfilling astonishment we’d imagined when Abby and Paige were kids. And I’m looking for a similar fulfillment in my later years with my new Kathys.
Her status report arrived this morning, full of good news, and news that was presented to me as discouragement and forewarning (although I decline to acknowledge it as such). The two sets of news are flip sides of each other. Kathy has made great advancements in important ways. She has made great strides with her mobility. Her medical team, having observed Kathy’s composure and easy acceptance of wheelchair and bed confinement, decided to experiment with removing her restraints. Within half an hour without supervision she was discovered on her bedroom floor, having fallen. Her improved mobility had made it possible for her to attempt the walk all the way across the room, which she succeeded in doing. And almost all the way back. She was uninjured, but is now again on full restraint.
Why did this happen? Her cognition testing shows an absence of insight into her “deficits,” as they are called. She doesn’t always know that she has memory deprivation, or mobility problems, or balancing issues, or any number of challenges that threaten safety. The medical team can’t predict when, or whether, these issues will improve. And so one scenario, I’m told, is that she could need 24 hour supervision indefinitely.
As you can imagine, that might require significant lifestyle adjustments. That’s okay. It’s even better than okay. I see her “deficits” as openings to something new, challenging and fun. Like travel in unfamiliar lands: colorful, crazy, sometimes tiring and hard. But all good.
You couldn’t ask for a better traveling companion. I mean companions.
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You simply amaze us….
Replanting your garden for the fall. .first a cover crop. Then winter veggies
Lisa & David
You know, I smile at this peculiarity of the present accomplishments and “deficits”. I don’t know that I ever told you all (including Abby) that after my parents moved from Morro Bay, before I came to stay in your warm and comforting home, that my stepfather had recovered from a traumatic brain injury due to a fall from 25 feet.
Larry was an amazing man before the fall; he had his hands in all sorts of things imaginable. He was first and foremost a musician, but very skilled in labor of all sorts. The kind of man you would hire out for any kind of handy man or mechanical need. He was amazing. After the fall, and after the initial hospital stay, I would drive to Santa Barbara several times a week and take him flowers at the home that they dictated as the rehabilitation home for such traumatic injuries. It was in Goleta….I wondered a time or two if this could be the same home that you speak of with Cathy in mind. Anyhow, he was certainly on the mend, and did not like showering with others assistance and such (as a proud man might not). We would laugh a little about the indecency of it all. But They took great care of him despite his many attempts to leave on his own.
It took a long while for him to “get it all back” (mostly), but he did regain all the fine motor skills to play guitar again and his voice was as crystal as it ever had been. His vision suffered acute bouts of inaccuracy when a project was complicated but he still got the job done (mostly) accurately. The little inadequacies we would never notice, but sometimes he would. It was amazing to see him come back from that child-like need as an adult to regaining his manhood again. And all along the way, the little discrepencies between where he might have been before the accident (if only in his own eyes) and the place he found himself after were the delights and wonder of allowing him, and us, to remember on a daily basis that we too are human and make the same mistakes. Though the mistakes may be new for the patient at hand, they are none the less human. Take delight along the way to nurture the improved version of yourself, Cathy, the girls and the life you all share; imperfections or not.
Richard, you are quite lovely. Your four girls are lucky women to share your light. As are we.
Bravo Kathys!
I love the way you look at life and the hand you are dealt, Richard. Your glass is eternally half full. I am happy that Kathy’s mobility is so good that she almost made it back across the room without falling and that she was unharmed. I am also impressed (but not surprised at all) at her determination to be independent and free. With her spirit and you by her side she will continue to improve by leaps and bounds and despite the restraints both physical and emotional that are placed on her she will prevail. Come on, Kathy! xoxo
The power of prayer is beyond imagination. I will continue my prayers for a full and rich recovery. Kathy already has the best companion ever!
Dr. Dick, you are still teaching us all.
Wow..that is amazing that she could walk across the room…she is so strong and determined and I believe she will only improve and improve…step by step…she is so lucky to have you by her side….we are all cheering her on and holding you up in prayer……God bless you both….Patti
one step closer to dancing.. she already has the BEST partner!! Come on Kathys!! Love Stacy!
Blesses to you both.
Twins again. Amazing grace，Richard. Hugs and love to your girls, always M&L
Ah, Richard, you know as you express your unbounded love of Kathy you make me love and value you more and more. You have always been my mentor in the art of loving and enjoying life; through this blog you show us all the depth of that love, the beauty of your soul and your ability to see the best part of any situation. Thank you. Kiss Kathy for me. XO, Uma
In sickness and in health, your love grows.
What sweet blessings your daughters are! So thankful for the family surrounding and loving you during all of this.