Day 67
In my last post, although I got off topic for awhile, I tried to give an idea of how much progress Kathy made in just a few weeks’ time, from barely moving a finger to remembering where we’d left off watching a TV show two months previous. That accelerated progress continues. I now have this week’s official assessment of her status at Cottage Rehab. Last week they projected 4-6 weeks in that facility; now they’re saying it appears she will reach the acute rehab goals in 2-3 more weeks. At which time, assuming she qualifies on medical terms (open question) she will move on to a transitional facility that specializes in helping neurologically impaired patients re-enter their home environment with as much normality, safety and independence as possible. It’s based in Goleta, near enough to Santa Barbara that I can continue to live in the motel where I’ve been staying.
I am thankful beyond words for our good fortune of landing in the Cottage Hospital system, and the opportunity to improve even more on Kathy’s recovery opportunities through a neuro specialty transitional facility. Her outcomes to date have been tremendous. They include the ability to use all five of her senses, functional cognition that in many respects exactly mirrors her pre-stroke capabilities, speech capabilities that, physically, are the same as before, muscular/skeletal functions that have no debilitating impairments, and most of all the shining presence of Kathy herself unimpaired.
Of course, given the “massive hemorrhagic bleed” that she experienced, and the torturous reaction of er brain throughout the long weeks of her coma, she has serious deficits, and only time will tell us how much improvement might be made upon them. Here are some highlights of this week’s report card (I’ll try to be more concise than I was last week):
Impaired swallowing: Kathy has graduated from honey thickened liquids to nectar thickened to thin – still with supervision at all times (that’s me…sip once, remind each time of chin tuck, swallow once or more, alternate with regular, chopped foods).
Impaired cognition. Kathy has severe short term memory loss, plus her insight into her memory loss is poor. That is, she is not aware of her memory deficits. She “confabulates,” which means that she compensates for her memory loss by substituting imagined experiences. This is considered a “barrier to discharge.”
Impaired communication. Poor initiation, which basically means she’s disinclined to speak much.
Easily distracted, almost second-by-second at times.
Fatigue. She can rise to an occasion, as with visitors, but mostly she’s just tired. It’s her mind that needs restfulness; physically she’s weak but not usually in need of rest for that reason.
Needs restraints. Must have crisscross seat belt in the wheelchair, bed rails. That’s because she doesn’t remember she can’t walk, and so could injure herself if not restrained. The very good news is she’s not impulsive (a high risk for patients with right frontal lobe injury).
Impaired mobility: Currently she is confined to a wheelchair. Goal at discharge is to have her able to walk (with walker) 150’ and negotiate the stairs of our home with both-side handrails and my supervision, plus other ADA equipment we’ll need to install.
Impaired self-care management. TBD, with this to be worked on more at the transitional facility…things like self-dressing, toileting, bathing.
There’s more, but let’s just leave it at there’s much to work on. Some long-term outcomes can be predicted, but much more is uncertain. I spent an early part of last night on some healing steps that I’m often drawn to, wondering how our lives will be changed once we start settling back into an approximation of our former rhythms. Wondering about what awaits us and how we can make new rhythms is something I could do better with Kathy‘s help. Alone and fearful, it makes for some pretty soul-crushing hours.
But she’s not ready for thinking about the future. Now, it’s plenty for her to just hold on and improve day by day, and understand that she’s progressing. I really love being part of that process: seeing the beautiful woman she is emerge in ways that are even more expressive than ever. Even though she’s not ready to wonder about what comes next for us, when I asked her today if she does wonder about some things, she paused long enough that I thought she might have forgotten that I’d asked a question (that happens). After maybe a full minute she said “yes.” Then another long pause. I asked her what she wondered about, and she said, “If there’s a god and a heaven.” I asked her why it had occurred to her to wonder that, after so many years of our living apart from questions of theology. And she said, because she had come so close to finding out.
That’s part of what I mean by her becoming even more beautiful to me than ever before. It’s something I see in her face. I can’t get enough of just looking at her.
18 Comments on
Comments are closed.
God Bless you both
What fabulous progress. Thanks as always Richard for your insightful update. Thinking of you both as you face the uncertainty of the future, as you and Kathy forge ahead together, finding your new “rhythms”.\ – and prayers for continuing strength….
Hang in there Dick. You are doing a fabulous job. Obviously, Kathy is too. We miss you both and look forward to seeing you both back in Morro Bay.
One day at a time…that is all any of us have…it all sounds great to me…I see her getting better and better …although life will be different, most likely….it will probably be better in some ways if you can imagine that. It is such a difficult time and my heart goes out to you both…what amazing and strong human beings you BOTH are…I am in AWE….Patti
Thanks again, Richard for another update that allows us the privilege of seeing Kathy’s progress. We love you both. sherri and sam
So good to hear of Kathy’s steady progress. Kathy’s insight into her brush with eternity was profound and heart-rending
Thank you for the update Richard. So happy to hear of the progress Kathy is making and I know there is so much more to come… I am wondering if Kathy knows what happened to her, or is it gone because of her short term memory loss? Sending love to you both and hoping that you Richard are able to sleep better now and are
more at peace….
crying again! Big FAT River made up of our tears of joy… can’t wait to squeeze you BOTH ,,stacy and Finney
Richard you have described the hellish nature of Kathy’s suffering-and to have your miracle wife wonder about god and heaven, makes me feel like I am hearing a question from an angel, so that answers that! Michele
You brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing this journey with us. I have only commented once but I I read every post. I still remember Kathy holding my newborn daughter that I waited 13 years for. For this I know there is a God. I have prayed for all of you and will continue. God will be by your side even when you’re tired and worn. He will give you the will to keep on. God bless you both. Everyone should be as blessed to have the kind of love that you and Kathy do.
My heart fills with joy at the prospect of Kathy going “home”. While there’s much work ahead to meet her physical needs and challenges – ‘home is where the heart is’ – and Kathy will make great strides there. Thinking of you both together again as you once were puts my world back on its axis. Richard, while the Cottage system and teams may have made a real difference in Kathy’s progress, YOU are her champion. Love from me and Manny.
I want to say ditto to everything Lola just said. And, Richard, will you please give Kathy a huge hug and kiss from me? I will give many to both of you at the earliest possible opportunity. Kisses, Uma (and Mitch of course)
Oh Richard and Kathy…Every day I watch for news…we are all grateful for any report, any time, as that is the only way most of us are aware of Kathy’s progress. My personal convictions are a powerful belief in prayer, and the miracles that have been performed in my own life. Kathy has been the recipient of so may of those prayers, they will continue.
How sweet, precious and beautiful! There’s something in Kathy and each of us that wonders about eternity. How could this be all there is? Life is so precious and so transcendent,.. it’s obvious there’s more. Our amazingly loving and brilliant Creator says ‘He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts…’ Ecclesiastes 3:11
God so deeply loves each and every person that He sent His own Son, Jesus Christ, to show us everything about God and eternity. He said that everyone who believes in Him will not die or perish, but rather will have everlasting life. No one who claimed to be spiritual in all history did as many recorded miracles as Jesus, including raising from the dead and ascending into heaven in front of 500+ people. History cannot find his body because it’s gone. He did this to prove that yes, there is eternal life, things don’t just end when we pass from here, and that He is the Way there. I’m here to say that I have a wonderful personal relationship with Him and He is above and beyond anything you can imagine…. so so so in love with Jesus. If you know Him, it’s impossible not to be. He for positive is real and for positive loves each of you so so very much, enough to die an extremely torturous and painful death for us, paying the price for anything we might have done to hurt or offend God, self or others, paying the price, dying in our place so we don’t have to, so that we can have eternal life… Because only perfection can be in heaven with our perfect God, He had to do something to pay the penalty for us as we naturally all have flaws. He’s holding out His hand and asking for you to recieve Him… what He did for us was/is so humble and loving. He didn’t have to do it, but He did, because He loves us.
I know, a long post… but I cannot love you without sharing this. There is nothing more real and true in this life… He’s everything to me…
Thank you Richard for the update. It’s just amazing how Kathy is recovering. She has come SO far from that awful first day and I know she is going to come so much farther. So much work, so many obstacles…. but Kathy has defied the odds so far and I think she’ll continue to. She’s not afraid of hard work, she’s an optimist and if anyone ever has paid her dues and deserves it she does! With that and the power of prayer? Come on Kathy!
Thank you, as always, for keeping us all updated on Kathy’s miraculous progress. While I try to not impose my religious beliefs on others, I have to say this much…
Given all that Kathy (and you, Richard) have been through, how can one NOT believe there is a Higher Power aiding in her progress? God is with you, Kathy! And so are we! C’mon Kathy!
Thank you so much Richard for these updates. Being witness to this journey has us all wondering about different things I think . You guys are amazing. In the words the great sufi poet, Rumi> “Say who I am, say I am you” Kathy I know you like those whirling dervishes. 🙂 Love you!
Richard and Kathy,
I agree with Greta, and Cindy! God is holding out his hand,for you both! He’s performing in Kathy great miracles, so you will both KNOW he exists! My prayers continue for you both, as you are comforted by him every day. He’s got a plan for you, and he’s using this experience to let you know that he IS real and he exists!☺