Day 43
Except for an intervening bout with some alarming but not heart-stopping news, and one disappointment about next steps, the time since last report has proven really good. Kathy has graduated downward, to the first floor step-down unit. My badge for the next several days will say Ridley Tree instead of SICU. To get there, Kathy has had to struggle through several days of learning to breathe on her own. The ventilator has been retired, one of the top milestone goals since her arrival at Cottage. Soon – probably this Friday – her cranial flap will be returned to its former place atop her head where it belongs (requiring a brief return to SICU for a couple of nights’ observation, but with the great advantage that we might expect even more improvement in Kathy’s overall condition.) Following that, we expect the removal of the feeding tube in her nose and the insertion of a feeding tube through her tummy (where the flap has departed), and then the total removal of her trach collar, to be ceremoniously replaced by a bandaid, which I hope to provide myself courtesy of Rite-Aid. Meantime, maybe tomorrow, an adjustment will be made to the trach collar that will allow exhaled air to proceed from her lungs through the normal passageway, permitting her to cough naturally (hearing her strained cough now is an experience no single lifetime will allow me to forget). Mostly, though, it’s her mellifluous voice I need to hear.
Afterwards…and here’s the disappointment I mentioned earlier…instead of proceeding to the Cottage rehab facility as I’d hoped, I’m told that she will need some (indeterminate amount of) time at a “skilled nursing facility” (for those of my generation, that translates to nursing home). If I knew how long she will be in that type of facility I would know better how to plan where to look for a likely place, possibly either here in Santa Barbara (the better to place her in Cottage’s excellent rehab when the time comes), or somewhere in SLO County if it appears that she might need many months with skilled nursing. So, much is still up in the air. Again, the medical profession’s unyielding insistence on the practice of its abiding virtue: Patience.
Moving downstairs to Ridley Tree will be an uplifting but rueful step. A few months ago, Kathy and I took note of the fact that, in our 37 years together, we had been apart less than a month in total…on average, under one day a year. Now, we’ve slept in separate beds more in the past 40 days than in our entire time together. Kathy’s been places inside her head I don’t know if I’ll ever be allowed to see. In a smaller way I’ve seen things too that Kathy won’t. Yesterday I said goodbye to faces I’ve come to know in the halls of Cottage that Kathy won’t see – James, Jayne, Marilyn, Gary, Audrey Clark – a cavalcade of 50’s and 60’s Hollywood greats whose glamour photos along the first floor hall toward the elevators were removed to be replaced by some other installation. That Kathy will never see them is, to me, a sadness unlike any I have ever known with her. I can tell her about them, even show them to her in another configuration at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art where they are housed. But it could never be the same anywhere other than what has become, to me, the hallowed halls of Cottage Hospital.
I can’t help but wonder what Kathy has witnessed through her sedated pilgrimage. And to fight off the sadness of not knowing.
Hard for me to understand how this kind of ruefulness can creep into this day of joy. It’s the kind of insight that Kathy can help me with. Someday soon.
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Awesome Richard. It’s wonderful progress. The decisions are hard, but you have so much more to share with Kathy that she may not remember or be aware of. Kathy you are loved beyond measure…Ongoing prayers for you both during this time of recovery.
Dear Richard,
There is some good news here and for that I am thankful. May I make a suggestion? Since you are going to supply a Band-Aid from Rite-Aid, why not make it a “Snoopy” Band-Aid? After all, Kathy did work in the new borne wing of Sierra Vista. Also, everyone loves Snoopy so it may help lift her spirits.Unless Bugs Bunny is more her style, they have many cartoon Band-Aids out there. With any luck, something silly like that may just make her smile and giggle. I am sure you could use to hear her giggle after such a long time without hearing her voice.
I for one, really dig the snoopy band-aid idea…! Go Kathy, Go Kathy, Go Kathy, Go!!!
Can’t wait to hear you giggle girl!! BTW, there are lots of extra candles burning for you in the highlands of Scotland now… you really should hurry and get over there to blow them all out for me! xoxoxox -Netta
Prayers. Hugs. HOPE. Thinking and praying for you both. Can’t wait to see your smiles faces again. xoxox debbie
Someday soon
I am happy to hear of Kathy’s “graduation,” your love and patience as you stayed by her side are a huge part of her progress made. And, I believe the things you’ve seen and experienced are felt by her as well – I’m sure she’s smiled at your appreciation of that cavalcade of Hollywood greats. And…the Snoopy Band Aid? Most excellent idea, the vote is unanimous.
Thank You for the post Richard,so very happy to hear the progressive good news far outweighing the downside news.Your entire being is so much a part of Kathys recovery,you both are in our daily thoughts and prayers.
I think living in a ‘tree’ would be far superior to any thing in SICU. As a birder, I’m sure Kathy would agree! I’m very happy for your news Richard, and the ‘sound in your voice’ that tells me this is a promising step for your mind and soul. Love from me and Manny. Come on Kathy!
So happy to hear of Kathy’s progress….prayers continuing daily here….You must be so exhausted Richard…be sure to take care of yourself and get plenty of sleep so you will be able to keep on going….she would want you to do that, I am sure. My heart goes out to you because I know this is a roller coaster ride of emotion….remember my mantra, “Everything’s gonna be alright.” I mutter it all the time. Patti (from yoga)
Good afternoon Richard and Kathy! Where did this day go to already?? It is blazing hot with a little breeze here in the canyon.. I am cleaning up the kitchen after a soap making marathon.. Finney is in Morro Bay, getting ready for market ( with some of my new soap).. I am going to take a little walk in a bit and blow you some kisses and hugs from the top of the hill. Thank you for the update!! I truly believe Kathy”s recovery is so remarkable because of all the time you have spent being right there for her. Keep doing what you are doing, remembering to take care of Richard too. Please do not hesitate to call out to one of your too numerous to count adoring fans for help in any way!! Love stacy
Thanks to all the spirits who are helping out. Sounds like thinks are moving along, slowly. Seems like it will be some time till you arrive back at the new normal. Good work Richard. Good work Kathy. I too like the Snoopy idea. Since we all do, I guess Kathy will just have to live with it.
Dear one,….small steps!! So encouraged! Hope u r resting a little better. Thinking of u!