Day 29

Kathy’s progression toward wakefulness has been slower to show movement than expected. All medical impediments have been removed, so it is now time for Kathy to begin that journey using her own mental and physical strength and stamina.

Her ICPs have returned to normal (with the continued assistance of the cranial flap now resting in her tummy), and so she is now completely off the Mannitol and the EVD line (the tube that drains fluid and allows measurement of the intracranial pressure) has been removed. That removal has triggered a change in her staffing, so that now she will share a nurse with one other patient. Her paralytic drug, her primary sedative drugs, and her step-down sedative drug have all been removed, although, because she was on such heavy dosages for so long, their dissipation from her system won’t be immediate.

So now we wait and hope. I visit her 10-12 times a day, gown up, glove up and mask up because she is still battling a lung infection which, I’m told, is being successfully controlled by antibiotics. I whisper my love to her, my special name for her, tell her the news and messages from her well-wishers, and urge her to respond in some small, purposeful way. She does open her eyes and mouth at times when she’s being oppressed in some way, for example by being turned over or being wheeled to radiology for a CT scan. But those reactions, I’m told, are just that – reactions, not responses. We need to see purposeful responses to know that she is cognitively aware of her surroundings. Over and over, I ask her to squeeze my hand, wiggle a toe, open her eyes, or just try to open her eyes so I might detect a flutter of her eyelids. But so far nothing.

I believe she is aware, and that she listens, and hears, but that she is too weak to intentionally respond. Also, she has never been in a hurry to wake up, and she really resists being stirred from her dreams. So I’m not surprised she’s taking her time now.

Over the years I’ve become well practiced at the art of watching Kathy’s sleeping eyes for signs of movement, so there’s a familiarity in what I do when I’m with her in SICU 18. I’m always anxious to talk to her, so I always look for an opportunity to rouse her from sleep without her thinking I’m being intrusive.   So If I’m up first in the morning I’ll shower, then come back into the room, and look at her eyes.  It’s a little game we play. I’ll start dressing, but always keeping one eye out for her eyes to open, telling me she’s awake. Sometimes she really is asleep, so I have to disappointingly go downstairs to start my day. But other times she only pretends to be sleeping, then, while I’m dressing, she’ll coyly open one eye just a tiny bit to see if I can catch her. Then I jump on the bed in triumph and kiss her on the cheek as much as she’ll let me. It makes her smile.

Last night, when the nurse on duty wasn’t looking, I removed my mask and sneaked a kiss. Then I walked back to the motel with tears in my eyes.

I’ll post again as soon as we hear from Kathy. Prayers and Come on Kathys are much needed at this hour.

30 Comments on

  1. Good Morning Kathy and Richard!!! We know you are There Kathy… COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!

  2. Dick, you have the patience of a saint. Watching you wait (and reading about it on the blog) has been excruciating. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like for you. Just a little bit more waiting. I know you cannot wait to see one eye open and cover her with kisses, but Kathy is going to do this in her own time. People around the world are with you in spirit. We love you both, and cannot wait to read your blog update about how beautiful it is to feel/hear/see Kathy respond. It is coming. We all know it is coming. More candle lighting coming your way from San Clemente. HUUUUUUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Welcome Back Kathy!! (I just know you’ll be reading this soon, so hey!!)
    So much love and prayers coming your way, today and every day, we LOVE U!
    xoxoo Netta

  6. Thoughts, hugs, prayers. Thoughts, hugs, prayers. Thoughts, hugs, prayers. Thoughts, hugs, prayers. Thoughts, hugs, prayers. C’mon Kathy! Can’t wait to have the two of you back in town, dancing to Back Bay Betty. We love you guys! C’mon Kathy – you CAN do it!

  8. So grateful for the update…she will be waking soon…I am just sure of it….We are all waiting Kathy…come on girl, come on……..time to wake up. Patti

  9. Hey Kathy! Wake up! Everybody wants to see your smile. Make Dick smile. Love, Paul, Nancy, and Sally

  10. Come on Kathy; come on Kathy!! This is the time; this is the now; open a slit in just one eye and see if Richard can catch it!!!

    As my mother used to say when I was a child old enough to have heard the train story, “We think you can; we think you can; we know you can!”

    …just be a little careful with the jumping on the bed this time, OK Richard? 😉

    with many prayers for you both,
    Chris

  12. Kathy, I know you like your sleep…. we have talked about that,
    but now it’s time to wake up!! We all want to see and talk to you… please wake up!

  13. Okay Kathy.. In your honor.. BEFORE I saw Richard’s blog..I went back to bed after putting my nephews on the train at 0655! we officially got out of bed at 0946.. The scrub jays would not shut up!! You have a red hot date with all the birds of this canyon.. Wake up honey!! Richard I am SO happy to hear you stole a kiss from your beloved! Keep up the excellent work! I am heading to the barn now to work on the prayer flag quilt/Love Blankie.. it is as much for you as it is for Kathy and it will certainly be big enough!! LOVE and squeezes! Stacy

  14. Most people know that Kathy and Richard have huge, welcoming hearts for their family and friends, for people they know, people who are friends of people they know, and for people they don’t know who are simply needful of something (friendship, a hand up, a little guidance). As long as I’ve know them, Kathy and Richard have opened their home to that same crowd – unconditionally. Oh, and the dinner parties and celebrations they’ve had for that crowd! I’m specifically reminded of one dinner party when we all got down to – lovingly and with genuine contemplation – giving each other, one defining characteristic. Kathy thought for a few minutes, smiled at me and said, “brat”. I love that…as it’s true. Others were thusly branded and either confirmed or disputed by their peers. My word for Kathy was “regal”. I remember she wasn’t crazy about that moniker…as she felt it pompous. But I explained my definition of the word, and the way I’ve always seen her. Not in the sense that she is imperious or proud. But to me Kathy is inherently confident and quietly benevolent. Someone who is happy in her life and at peace with herself, and by her nature wants and helps others to find their own paradise.

    Even now, in her slumber, Kathy is bringing out the best in each of us. For her, and for ourselves. We pray and will her to continue to fight so that we can have her back again.

    I want her to wake up, and call this brat out! xo

    • Me, too, Lola dear. I think she once called me a bitch and I would gladly accept that moniker once again if it came from her lips. Queen Kate, come back to us. We’re waiting. We know you don’t know how long this wait has felt to us all, especially your dear man. Listen to his whispered words of love and give him a break. He loves you SO much; we all know now if there was ever a doubt. I so hope you’ll be able to hear his words soon. Kisses.

  15. Kathy, thinking of you everyday. You can do it! Come on Kathy! Thank you Richard for the update. You and Kathy are always on my mind and in my prayers everyday.

  16. Come On Kathy <3 Come On Kathy <3 Come On Kathy
    Your Prince has kissed your cheek, time for
    Sleeping Beauty to rise~ smile at us and our worry,
    Leave your sweet dreamsleep and come home to us
    once more. We want to say Welcome Home…
    Come On Kathy <3 Come On Kathy <3 Come On Kathy

  17. Richard,
    You are the best!!! Kathy is so fortunate to have you, as are we all.
    With your great love and passion I know she will make it.
    Torg! (Coach)

  19. I am touched, and hopeful, and sending on all of the encouragement I can for our sleeping beauty to wake up with her prince by her side. I am willing it with all my heart.

    • Dear sweet Kathy. .Time to wake up.
      When your dear sweet husband told us that the daily posts would be less frequent I just could not stop myself from v doing my daily Kathy check in.
      So this morning we were happy to receive news.
      Love, light & happiness. See you soon.
      David & Lisa

  20. Come on, Kathy! this will be my mantra every day. get up girl. i need you. we all need you. xoxo
    joanne

  21. Come on Kathy, you are in my heart. .are you Richard and family
    Thinking and praying for you all each day.
    Leslie

  22. Big hug Richard! Bought candles today – one for me and one for Kathy…..lighting it……COME ON KATHY!

    Sent from my iPhone

  24. Good morning you two lovebirds….. I hope that today is a day of wonderful (even though they may be slight) improvements….. I pray that you continue to find the hope and strength to quell the “what if’s” and the waiting game.
    I secretly applauded your stealthy stolen kiss. After so long, Im sure that even that little kiss was charged with so much electricity that Kathy felt it deep into her soul.
    Are they allowing you, now, to bring those sensual instruments in that you had brought in the beginning? The soft fabrics and essential oils?
    Should you need the distraction of company, I would be more than obliged to share some time, even if its just waiting with you Richard. Please don’t hesitate to ask. Im only a jump away. Truthfully, I would do anything for you two.
    Love, Hugs and Prayers

    • Thank you Richard, and God bless you. Come on Kathy, come on Kathy, I am holding you up in prayer every day. C’mon pretty girl!

  27. Dearest richard,
    Thinking of u dear one, and praying for your continued patience and strength. Loving u. Ron and Gail

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