Day 22, morning

I spoke with Dr. Zauner last night at some length. Not so much about the medical details of Kathy’s condition – I pretty much get more than I can absorb when I eavesdrop on his rounds – but more about why Kathy is here. And he says it’s because he has real hope for her. And he’s not someone to mince words…he really does see a positive pathway for Kathy, and has a plan to make it open up for her.

In fact, the past 36 hours have shown a glimmer of that hope. For Dr. Zauner that glimmer is made up of a complex of data patterns that he analyzes over real time via multiple computer programs and radiology scans. I can only see it narrowly.

Here’s the main key that Paige and Abby and I use. There’s a numeric range, basically from 15 to 30 for our purposes over the past weeks. It’s the ICP number, and it relates to the state of Kathy’s brain swelling, which is the big bad wolf for us right now. ICP’s for undamaged brains (depending on whom you’re talking to) range from 5 to 15.  Dr. Zauner’s stated goal for Kathy is to keep hers at under 25, and the medical team has a dozen or more complex strategies, some very precarious and difficult, some more routine, to help meet that goal. All are beyond my understanding, both as to what they are, what they’re specifically meant to accomplish, and why/when they get applied. Abby and Paige and I don’t have a clue (well, maybe Abby, some, because she does neuro lab work, but this is different). The team is constantly tweaking things in the effort to control that number (i.e., the swelling), but nevertheless Kathy sometimes shoots up to 30+. Last week they had to increase Kathy’s dosage of the Mannitol and the 3% saline (the two main meds) to their maximum dosages and their maximum frequency. Beyond that, it’s just wait and hope. Wait for Kathy’s swelling to subside and hope she doesn’t succumb to the effects of her coma, the incredible application of numerous industrial strength drugs over three weeks and counting, her immobility, pneumonia, infection, and many other dangers.  After her Mannitol fix, her number will creep down for awhile, then start climbing again. When it pushes 30 she can get a 3% saline bolus, which helps the number move downward for a bit, hopefully staying under 30 until Kathy can have her next Mannitol fix.

Here’s what hanging out at SICU has been for us. Day after day after day, the three of us quietly enter SICU 18 to whisper our love to Kathy, or stand outside the room peering through the window, eyes fixed on the ICP monitor.  We hang on every slight uptick (“ohhh, no!”) or each slight movement downward, say, from 23 to 18 (we love the teens: “she must be getting better!”). After a good downtick we often just hightail it real quick so as not to have to witness and acknowledge the next movement, which might undercut our exultant moment of giddiness.  Then, down at the cafeteria or back at the motel, we’ll apply our analysis to what happened, and what it foretells. We know next to nothing about the medical tweaking that caused the slight change, but that doesn’t stop us from explaining to each other’s eager ears, in elaborate “scientific” terms, what the downtick means.

But then late last night: an 8! A somewhat artificially derived 8, I was told, but what a joyful moment to see that number. And she went all last night handling the extended Mannitol frequency (from 4 hours to six hours), staying for the most part in the high teens and low 20’s. That’s what Dr. Zauner told me last night he was hopeful of seeing today. If so, and all other systems look okay, he’ll order the tracheotomy they had to cancel last week because Kathy’s condition was too precarious.

So…signs of progress. And hopefulness. Big day ahead!

Kathy, keep it up, just keep it up a bit longer…come on, come on, come on…

15 Comments on Day 22, morningI spoke with Dr. Zauner last

  1. It was an honor and a joy to be at Legends last weekend, offering our love and hope and prayers for you both, but most especially Kathy. You all remain in my prayers and thoughts daily. Today’s blog is good news! Come ON Kathy!

  2. So happy for good and hopeful news…You can do this Kathy, come on come on…….holding you all in prayer and good thoughts….seeing her well and whole again….God bless you all…Patti(from yoga)

  3. How I am hoping and praying for the ICP to stabilize! Thank you so much Richard for continuing your powerful, loving and insightful posts every day. We huddle at work to discuss and analyze them, and always end with your mantra: “come on Kathy!” She is so loved and well-respected here, and I am honored to have worked with her and learned from her since I joined the L&D staff. Apart from the medical updates (which we devour), we express our joy, and feel privileged, to witness your love story as it continues to unfold. No doubt Kathy will give you “the look”, but we will rally by your side – your love for her is palpable, and it’s what all newlyweds can only hope for as the years pass by…..

  4. I do not have the words to sufficiently describe the feelings flowing from my heart. A range of ache to joy. Richard, thank you for expressing Kathy’s journey so eloquently and making us to feel near. I have never seen such an outpouring of love and hope and well wishes from such a vast group of people, that includes those I know personally and love dearly, and those whom I’ve never met. Kathy has touched the lives of so many…and now we are all one family. Kathy’s Family.

    It feels to me, like the opening scene in “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Where the family and town, and world are sending prayers to help George Bailey. Clarence is on his way! Come on Kathy!

  5. Richard! We are so happy to hear that there is progress with Kathy’s condition and an optimistic prognosis by the docs. We’re rooting for her daily. Gail was a high school cheerleader, so this is a natural activity for her. I, an old athlete, am by her side admiring the positive energy. We’re with you brother. Stay strong!

  6. The kids and I lit candles and sent messages of hope to Kathy as we huddled together. It was so helpful to hug them and tell them all about their Aunt Kathy, and how much she means to me. I have hope that with so many near and far huddling together to share their stories and love for Kathy, lighting candles, and saying prayers while you, Abby, and Paige are so close, by hook and by crook the love and devotion will drag that ICP number down. Come on, Kathy. Go DOWN ICP number!

  8. Thank you again, Richard, for the continual sharing of Kathy’s condition as well as what her and your, Abby, and Paige’s days are like. As Lola so perfectly said, it allows us to feel near, which is a gift to all of us, more than I can even begin to describe.
    Never-ending thoughts, wishes, prayers to all of you ~ sherri

  9. Come on Kathy, keep rolling 8’s! Blessings to her three angels standing by, keeping watch, going to the cafeteria and doing all the other things earth-angels do.

  10. Hi Richard, Kathy, Abby and Paige, I have been reading all your post Richard, thank you for keeping us in touch. Kathy you are in my heart throughout my day, I light a candle each night in front of the Buddha in my garden and say a prayer to keep you safe. We all love, the beautiful women that you are, so much. Sending much love to all of you!

  11. Hi Richard, Kathy, Abby and Paige, I have been reading all your post Richard, thank you for keeping us in touch. Kathy you are in my heart throughout my day, I light a candle each night in front of the Buddha in my garden and say a prayer to keep you safe. We all love, the beautiful women that you are, so much. Sending much love to all of you!

  12. Richard, Abby, and Paige:

    I am so sorry to hear about Kathy’s ordeal. Words can not describe how I sorry I am for you. I wish you all the strength to help Kathy through these challenges. Her positive attitude and good spirit are indomitable – I’m sure she will come through. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  13. I’m so excited for us all, but especially Your immediate family! The insight you’ve given us into your private thoughts, fears, and moments have been priceless! For that I thank you. For days we’ve all been praying, crying, and sweating with you! Finally we all get to celebrate in anticipation of Kathy’s return to us (it’s evident that she is trying to come back to us!) So as we celebrate low ICP numbers, I am also thanking God for his blessings ,his mercy and most of all, His miracle in advance!

  15. I ditto the above… eight is great… come on Kathy! love love love love love love love love stacy

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