Day 14, morning
Today I’m compelled to say something about prayer. Until this episode of Kathy’s and my life, I knew little about it. Now, I’ve been humbled.
First, about Kathy’s current condition. Sunday started very iffy. Kathy had gone almost two full days without an injection of sweet cardene, the medication that relaxes and expands, into her brain’s spasming vessels. At mid-day she was taken to Special Procedures for another angio, 5th in the past 6 days. Dr. Zauner told me beforehand that he would try to maneuver his catheter into a region just above the miniscule vessel that has been most worrisome, for its potential to close up and cause further stroke. He put the likelihood of this succeeding at 20-30 percent. In the end, he did succeed, and in fact was able to perform an angioplasty (place a balloon) in that section of artery, which (as I understand it) opens up that slightly spasming vessel so that more blood (nutrients) can pass through the tiny narrow vessel beyond it. And into that tiny vessel, he injected more cardene.
Dr. Zauner called it a very successful procedure, and one that may “possibly” prevent further stroke. (The worrisome narrow vessel that appears to be most threatening feeds an area of the brain that controls the right leg).
Hours later, all signs were looking good. Into the night, her ICPs (Intracranial Pressure) kept edging back up into uncomfortable territory, but (with three calls to Dr. Zauner) the nurse got direction to make adjustments to which Kathy was able to respond. In all, I’m more hopeful now than I have been since the spasms started almost a week ago.
Also, the Sunday morning CT scan showed no further stroke…there is no describing my relief when those scans come back empty of news.
So, prayer. I’m a novice. But over the past two weeks I’ve been treated to a crash course. Words of prayer for Kathy has flowed from so many of you, friends and relatives with grounding in diverse spiritual disciplines: Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist, Jewish, Islamic, AA, Yogic, Deist, non-denominational, and others whose supplication on her behalf I don’t know.
Does Kathy believe in the power of prayer? I know she does. Two years ago, when she had a hip replacement, she was heartened by the promises of prayers from pretty much all of the above, believing, she said, that they all counted, and all gave her mental and spiritual support going into surgery. Although she has strayed from her Catholic upbringing, in our travels she can’t pass a Catholic church or cathedral without going in and lighting prayer candles for friends, or family, or friends of friends, whom she knows to be in distress, with the hope (belief?) that they will contribute to a saint’s intervention. A few years ago, wanting, I believe, to understand in a real-world, kind of scientific way, why she felt so strongly about the healing power of thoughts and feelings (prayer) to exert real influence, she urged me to read a book that made an extraordinary impression on her, “The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles” by Bruce Lipton. I haven’t read the book (I read almost exclusively fiction – as my friend Roy once put it, just because it’s fabricated doesn’t mean it’s not true). Kathy used the thesis of the book to support her belief in the power of prayer to heal.
And here’s something else, which I think is related. Through her hospital work, with fellow nurses, hospital staff, doctors, and patients and patient families, Kathy comes into intimate daily contact with far more people than I do. With sincere feeling and concern she sometimes tells me stories of hardships they are facing, bringing me into the fold of her compassion in a way that makes me well up with hope for their healing. (Lust listening to her lovely voice can put me in a trance. Take away all her other beautiful qualities and I would have been lulled into love by her voice alone).
Yesterday I was visited by a great team of supporters – my niece Anna and her two small but powerful swimmers and splashers and smilers and laughers and huggers, Waylon and Avalon. There is nothing in my experience as uplifting as children at play. And our friends David and Lisa, Gail and Mike, and Finney and Stacey. Dana, I am so sorry I missed you Saturday. Their presence worked wonders on me.
And most astonishing, most unbelievably crazy and breathtaking: Himalayan Prayer Flags! Dozens of them. Many dozens of them. Wildly colorful squares and rectangles of cloth, that Stacy put at the nurses’ station at Sierra Vista Hospital, where Kathy works, with an invitation to create a prayer for Kathy. Within days, so many (60? 80? more to come) were picked up by nurses, staff, and doctors, and came back with such incredibly beautiful drawings, prayers, poems, and personal notes of love that, again, I am at a loss what to call my new tears.
Kathy, I feel we’re closing in here. Come on, just a little while longer.
14 Comments on Day 14, morning Today I’m compelled to say something about prayer.
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Her voice, yeah — infused with warmth, a “smiling” voice, easily one of the most beautiful I know. It’ll be wonderful to hear it again.
Keeping those positive thoughts going Kathy’s way.
Prayer and prose. Both very healing. Juju too. Sending strong juju to you and Kathy. xo
*Afternoon on a Hill*
I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one.
I will look at cliffs and clouds
With quiet eyes,
Watch the wind bow down the grass,
And the grass rise.
And when lights begin to show
Up from the town,
I will mark which must be mine,
And then start down!
– Edna St. Vincent Millay
Thank you , thank you , for your powerful daily update, with all the beautiful prayers, and wonderful treatment she is getting and by her Dr. being so truly dedicated , Kathy will soon be well again.
Richard, I am Kathy’s cousin, now living in Indian Harbour Beach, FL. We met at the Oehler family reunion at my sister Irene’s on the 4th of July 2008 outside of Buffalo. I can’t thank you enough for keeping everyone abreast of Kathy’s status. She is blessed to have you. Each day I hurry to read your messages; I am overwhelmed by what you are going thru and my thoughts and prayers are with you, Abby and Paige, and especially Kathy, that our God will grant her a complete recovery. Please give her my love. Peace and blessings, Ginny Oehler
So happy that our Heavenly Father has shown you a glimpse of what he can accomplish! Sending more prayers your way, and praying for all of Kathy’s caregivers! Stay blessed!
Love this! Richard my name is Lindy and I had the pleasure of working with Kathy for 4 years at sierra vista until I moved away last year. Her voice was always my favorite….she taught me so much as a new nurse and her calm, loving demeanor was amazing! I loved being around her talking to her and learning from her!. Can’t say enough about her! Prayers have been going for her since I heard and thanks to our great coworkers for letting me know I can follow her on this! Love to you both..thank you! When she wakes please tell her I miss her! Lindy Butler
I know Kathy from yoga and she is so sweet and kind and was so welcoming to me when I was new there ….a few years ago. I ran into her at Cookie Crock a few months ago and I told her how much I missed seeing her. Lots of prayer for her and for you ….God give you strength to get thru this. Patti Anderson
Yes, prayer. Some of us rarely feel the need but sometimes an unexpected, unwelcome threat to our usual equilibrium surprises us with the realization that we too, the “unbelievers”, can and do and will pray. Personally, I was surprised when I found myself down on my knees the day I heard about Kath. Can’t remember if that’s ever happened before. The lessons we learn. And, Stacy, isn’t it just like you to think of the prayer flags; bet some (lots?) were purple too.
Come on back, Kathy. We are definitely ready, but you take your time if you need to. We’ll be waiting.
Richard,
Thank you for your writing. You’ve given us a beautiful window into your experience and your relationship with this amazing woman. My mother directed me here just the other day. May your beloved recover completely, and may both of you be blessed in your remaining years together. –Jacquelyn
Prayer is very powerful! God can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine! Just be patient and watch what God does with Kathy and her recovery.
I am praying for each of you daily and enjoy your daily blogs.
Hang in there and keep praying!
Love,
Julie and Richard and the boys
We love you “Aunt” Kathy and “Uncle” Dick. We were glad to have a visit from Anna, Avalon and Waylon on their way home from Santa Barbara and to hear the news first hand.
Your words about prayer are so powerful. There is a Jewish prayer for healing we have been saying for Kathy – Mi Sheberach.
מִי שֶׁבֵּרַךְ אַבוֹתֵינוּ מְקוֹר הַבְּרָכָה לְאִמוֹתֵינוּ.
May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us. Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing, and let us say Amen.
מִּי שֶׁבֵּרַךְ אִמוֹתֵינוּ מְקוֹר הַבְּרָכָה לְאֲבוֹתֵינוּ.
Bless those in need of healing with r’fu-a sh’lei-ma, The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit, and let us say Amen.
Your post made some things come to mind that I wanted to share with you. You were talking about your incounter with prayer, and all I could think about and smile about is the verses in the Bible that says our prayers are like incense before the LORD (Psalm 141:2 and Rev. 8:4), that there is a sweet fragrance associated with our prayers. To me this is awesome, I’m giving to the LORD when I’m asking HIM for help, comfort, healing and so much more. HE is blessed when I seek after HIM and ask for help. Prayer is what got me through nursing school and I know the power that is behind prayer can do amazing things!
This causes me to reflect on the wonderful nurse that Kathy is, she like many of us do nursing to care for other’s yet many times we are in return more blessed by our patients. Her calmness in any situation is amazing, and her soft words of encouragement and strength brings hope to so many that she cares for. If I could be half the nurse she is then I will have accomplished much!
When we pray were not just praying to receive something but we are blessing the Lord and in return we are blessed. Not only are our prayers like incense, but the LORD listens to us! In
1 Peter 3:12, it says, “The LORD is watching his children, listening to their prayers.” May all our prayers for Kathy bring the LORD sweet incense and in return bring healing upon our sweet Kathy and comfort you Richard, Abby and Paige while you’re waiting for her to heal.
Lastly, after reading your post I found this quote(see below) and I think you’ll be able to relate. Blessings to you and Kathy, know that I’m burning lots of incense before the LORD on your behalf!
“I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming
conviction that I had nowhere else to go.”
– Abraham Lincoln
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I just learned this morning from Den Den about Kathy’s situation. huge bummer. Prayers sound good to me to bring back her beautiful smile and lovely voice. Good luck Dick.