Day 10, morning
I am very saddened to say that Tom Henderson, our very close friend David Henderson’s father whom I mentioned in a previous blog, has passed away. Congenial, strong willed and vocal enough about it, just ask his unruly neighbors, hands-on dad, loving husband of many decades, and a master craftsman one of whose major contributions to the world of yachting was to pass his considerable woodworking talents down to his supremely talented son. I know he touched my life, and Kathy’s, in a unique way. Carry the torch, David. My heart goes out to Connie and the rest of our San Diego family who will feel his loss.
Bobby, Kathy’s next-room neighbor with many of the same brain challenges, faces an uphill struggle in some ways steeper than Kathy’s. In the afternoon, when Dr. Tensor called to tell me that Kathy’s TCPs were climbing again and they were prepping Kathy for another angio, I rushed to SICU 18 to whisper love and encouragement. But what I found was empty beds in 17 and 18. Both Kathy and Bobby had been taken to surgery, Kathy for the same angio procedure she had undergone 24 hours earlier. Bobby’s brain swelling had reached the point where they had to remove a portion of his skull to relieve the pressure. Josephina, his doting mother, is as stoical as a person can get confronting her god’s hard will. She told me she had shed every tear she had. I envy her fortitude. Hours later, within 15 minutes of each other, both Kathy and Bobby were wheeled back into their rooms, both with reports of complete success. Falling in a new friend’s embrace, now there’s something to hold on to. Some friendships take years, even decades to warm to maturity. Some just days.
Some of you have asked through these posts and emails, what’s up with February 11? Chris Thile (whose first solo album, coincidentally, was titled Not All Who Wander Are Lost, from the moving Tolkien poem Vicki Blond quoted in reply to yesterday’s post…thank you Vicki).
Which brings to mind a Kathy attribute that sometimes mystifies me. Chris Thile heads up a band I really like, a kind of alt bluegrass band called Punch Brothers. Kathy never tuned in much when I listened to their music, but went along with it anyway when I suggested we head up to Santa Cruz for a Punch Brothers concert. I felt that maybe she wasn’t really gung ho on the idea, but she would never tell me if that were the case, never want me to feel that I was prodding her to do something she’d as soon not. So we went. After the concert she said it was one of the best shows she’d ever been to.
So…was she humoring me, or did she really feel that? To me, the answer is it really doesn’t matter. Likely both. It could be that it truly was great for her because she knew it was great for me. You know Kathy, you understand that. And also, maybe it was great for her because she is so open and engaged, through all her senses, to the wonder of whatever is in front of her, whatever she’s doing, wherever she is, whomever she’s talking to, or whatever she’s listening to…so that, could be, the music really laid into her viscerally. I don’t know, it’s a mystery. But I’m okay not trying to get to the bottom of it, since I benefit either way (that’s just me). And she’d never let on anyway, whether through kindness or mischievousness. I do love that woman.
So, February 11, Chris Thile, Lobero Theater. Let me know. Cafeteria tab’s on us.
8 Comments on Day 10, morningI am very saddened to say
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It is with gratitude that I read this morning’s Kathy blog. Thank God Kathy is hanging in there. Can’t wait to catch-up with our good friend.
Thank you Richard for your kind words of support and love for the Henderson family.
With love
Lisa and David
P.S.
Put David and I on the list for our Santa Barbara outing.
Richard,Paige, and Abby, Am so sorry to hear of Kathy’s sudden illness , I will keep her and you all in my daily prayers for a complete recovery. Haven’t seen you in a while but I remember her vividly when we were growing up. I live near Al , so will keep in touch with him.
Cousin , Lois ( Oehler) Lagrou. West Seneca, New York
what wonderful doctors, compassionate nurses, and the comfort of new and dear friends. I am sorry to hear about the loss of David’s dad, I remember David and Lisa well from the Morro Bay days, but also heartened to hear of such swift and expert response to every nuance of Kathy’s journey back to health. I know she’s smiling, knowing she’s gonna have a great date with her guy this February…what gorgeous girl can say “no” to an evening of great music and food?
Just finished reading”proof of heaven” by a neurosegon who thrived after his deadlt coma。so i am now more of a mind to believe that Kathy can awake and heal. We are praying for you and Kathy and her girls. Much love Michele and Larry
every day with only little speed bumps is a blessing
looking forward to the news that the docs are bringing her back to us but i’ll try to be patient (it’s hard, isn’t it?)
hang in there, richard. hugs to you every day from me and mitch
Thank you so much for the loving journal you are sharing with us. I also worked with KathyO and her calm was so welcomed especially when things were going wrong 🙂 I got to dance with her one Halloween at Gale’s house..it was the free-est I’d felt in 20 years. She has always told me to stop drinking diet coke, please tell her I finally have. Also when you can please whisper how much I love and admire her, Prayers and wishes for a speedy recovery and hugs to you and the girls
I read your latest blog to Joanie tonight as we spent a few moments connecting from California to Sierra Leone. Her heart was reminded of the families she grew to know every time her daughter had open heart surgery. One of the hospital stays (too many to count!) was for 3 months in intensive care and she also had the honor of standing beside other families as they faced tragedies of their own. That moment of knowing you both have hard roads ahead let’s you move past all the superficial things that sometimes get in the way of a new friendship and allows you to move directly into best friends for life. She had both tears in her eyes and a smile on her face as she recalled several who meant the world to her. I am so grateful Josephina has you to stand beside her and that you have her as well. We added them to our hourly prayers for you and Kathy. All our love from around the world tonight.
Richard, I hope today is a day full of blessings for Kathy and you as well as the neighbors. perhaps they are sitting, walking, flying, absorbing together the process of the bodies they are working to put together…. no doubt, if there were a spiritual waiting room, Kathy would be the mother hen, putting all the other souls at ease while they wait for their bodies to be repaired. I hope she feels that love and emotional embrace from all of us and our prayers. And I hope the same for you….. many blessings to you all, today and each day….. much love from my heart and everyone else’s too!