Day 7, morning

Encouraging news from SICU Room 18: yesterday’s Doppler showed continued non activity on the vaso spasm front, and all other readings continue within acceptable ranges. I was present for the entire 45-minute procedure, and had to watch Kathy’s monitors go a little crazy. She doesn’t like the TCP procedure. Aine, the Doppler specialist, had to back off several times to let Kathy settle down before proceeding, and my nerves were fluctuating right along with Kathy’s blood pressure. All’s good, Aine said when it was over with…nothing to it from her standpoint.

Best of all: after a good night’s sleep I’ve come to believe in my heart what her doctor told me: that there’s a very good chance Kathy will recover to live a normal life. What’s normal? I’ve used the word “normal” with her nurses and nurse practitioners, asking them a thousand questions, variants on “Is that normal?” When I ask whether such and such a monitor readout, or a procedure, or a slight puffiness that wasn’t there before, or any number of things, is normal, they will tell me No, not really. Abnormal? Well, no. Usual? Well, I wouldn’t say usual. Unusual? No. They’re not being evasive; in fact the entire staff is quite straightforward, really knowledgeable, and eager to be helpful. It’s just, I guess, that with the brain – the mind – everything that happens appears to be a unique, incredibly complex expression of an event or a series of events, affecting other parts of itself and the entire body, an expression not anticipated and not unexpected. Every patient reacts differently to everything. Every second changes the possibilities for what the next second might become.

Still, I crave an answer. So I pressed Dr. Zauner (the truly admirable Dr. Zauner) to explain what he means when he says Kathy has a good chance of living a normal life. Do you mean a normal life or a “normal” life (finger quotation marks)? For example, Kathy and I love to hike…do you mean we might be able to continue hiking as usual? No hesitation from Dr.Z: “Yes.” Okay, you’re a doctor, and you know very well that if a nurse makes one error of judgment, the consequences could be dire…is it possible she will be able to go back to work? “Yes, of course.”

I’ve never been a good crier, haven’t really understood how, or why. Now I know. In the past week I’ve sobbed river tears of sadness, of fear and, finally, god bless today, tears of joy.

Come on, Kathy.

 

18 Comments on Day 7, morningEncouraging news from SICU Room 18:

  1. Thank you again for doing this blog, Dick — for all of us who are thinking about you and Kathy every day (and are sorry that we can’t be there to help), it’s a great gift, and especially when the news is so heartening. And this crying is good.

  4. It’s a good thing that you have a big, strong canoe so that you and Kathy can navigate that river of tears when this is all over. You are both well loved, and well cared for in the thoughts and hearts of so many.

  5. This is wonderful. Let’s start planning your visit to Flagstaff. Great hiking.

  7. My heart is with you and Kathy constantly. Giant hugs to you, and soft sweet whispers of love to Kathy.

  8. Continued positive thoughts and prayers…. I keep picturing your beautiful, radiant, infectious smile… and can not wait to see it again!! Come on Kathy!!!
    All my love,
    Brooke(L/D SVRMC)

  9. I love the fact you keep us informed, Thank you. I have no words to describe how I feel. It reminds me too much of Fred’s ordeal but sounds like happy endings for you.
    Love, Patty

  10. Richard, just caught up on all of your entries and am so choked up! THANK YOU for keeping us all informed as Kathy is on our minds here at work constantly. Everyone asks after her. We all want to wrap our arms around you and let you know we are there in spirit and want to help in anyway possible. I will be down to SB on Saturday and plan on coming by again to see you both. Let me know if there is anything from MB you would like me to bring down.
    HUGS and lots of love!!!!! Dana

  11. Richard, you’re my man! Kathy is lucky to have you in her corner at this trying time.
    I know, yes, I KNOW all will get back to normal.
    Torg!

  12. Uncle Dick and Aunt Kathy,

    This is Wendy, Anna’s law school roommate. Our family is praying for Kathy and sending good thoughts. I have such fond memories of you both from our law school days to Anna and Aaron’s wedding, and look forward to making more in the years ahead. We hope these weeks bring healing to Kathy, as love and support continues to surround your family from all corners.

  13. Richard, all I can do is think of Kathy. I can’t thank you enough for sharing where she is at each day and especially your feelings. Knowing Kathy for 24 years I had always heard how lucky she was to have found you, this we can all see. Thank you for loving her so. Linda NICU

  14. Richard- I am so sorry this has happened to Kathy. She’s such a great person. Glad to hear she is stable and they feel so positive. That is wonderful. When you can, let her know I’m thinking about her and wishing for a full recovery. Richard- you are doing so well and are a wonderful support for Kathy. Take care. Love judy

  15. That’s wonderful news. We’ll keep on praying for a complete recovery. Hang in there Dick. We are praying for you too.
    love, Richard and Susan

  16. Richard, Thank you for asking the hard questions for all of us. Sometimes you get the right answers. I am so happy for youandKathy and am full of hope! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
    BearHugs, Uma

  17. Richard,
    I too am sobbing with tears of joy! I’ve worked with Kathy since 2002. It’s funny how God places people in our lives as sisters and brothers. We all miss her at work,and can feel the impact that her absence has caused. Can you tell her that I will continue to pray for her?

    Denise RN (L/D)

  18. Thankful for this good news, thankful to you Richard for providing us with this wonderful way of seeing Kathy through your words, and thankful for every day because look how our lives can change at any moment…

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