Day 7 afternoon update

Kathy’s Doppler reading was fine again today, another relief. Her other systems were (mostly) stable overnight. There’s been some increase in urine flow, which can be (but isn’t necessarily) a precursor of vaso spasms. They’ll be watching that very closely. Should the spasms start, the first line of defense will be medical, likely an increase in blood pressure and added fluid, to urge the blood to flow through the affected vessels more readily. Only if that doesn’t do the trick would they have to wheel her back into the angio room for surgical intervention. Right now, Dr. Tenser (who is vacationing Dr. Zaunter’s partner) tells me all remains hopeful (and are you sleeping well, Richard?).

I don’t know how to say what I feel about the outpouring of love and support from so many of our caring, supportive friends. It’s miles past humbling. I mentioned my tears of sadness and of fear and of joy, but the emotions that bring tears when I read your responses are something else. My daughter Paige has said she cries tears of gratitude, and until now I thought I understood what she meant. Once, when Kathy, Abby, Paige and I were in Berkeley thinking lunch, we happened by a place called Café Gratitude. Paige yelled Stop! Stop! We did of course, and now I vow we will be sure to return.

The adage Misery Loves Company doesn’t work for me. All last week, in the deepest funk I’d ever imagined, I walked between the motel where I’m staying and SICU 18 with my head down, not even wanting to make eye contact with another human being. Now, with renewed hope for Kathy, I’ve made a new very close friend. Her name is Josephine, and her son Bobby rests in his own deep, induced coma next door in SICU 17. Bobby is 19, and has a head injury from a car accident. Josephine waits vigilantly outside Bobby’s room, looking through the window at the bank of monitors as I do through Kathy’s window, waiting for the opportunity to hold his hand and whisper her love. Our rooms are at the very end of the unit, where quiet prevails. In low murmurs Josephine and I compare notes on what the doctors have told us, where the readings are and where they have been, straining to know what they tell and to unearth the positives. Bobby came in the same day Kathy did, and it’s taken us until yesterday to meet. And now we’re comrades in one another’s arms. Hope, not misery. Or as Paige says, faith not fear.

Our close friend Lisa Harper Henderson came by yesterday and was able to gaze upon our sleeping beauty. Lisa was on her way to San Diego to be with her husband David and our family of friends there, as David’s father Tom took a fall and was headed to hip surgery, a difficult prospect for an elderly man dealing with other health challenges. My heartfelt hopes and wishes go out to David’s mom Connie, sister Lisa and the rest of the family. Tom is one feisty gentleman; I know he’ll be alright. He’s a man Kathy and I have loved and admired for many years.

Make a new friend, I tell you it’s therapeutic. And say a prayer, think a good thought, raise a glass, something hopeful, for Bobby, Tom and Kathy.

Thank you all.

10 Comments on Day 7 afternoon updateKathy’s Doppler reading was fine

  1. What a bittersweet thing to have found a companion in waiting, and it is heartbreaking to know its in a painful stalemate that you two must wait. I will say prayers for Bobby (and Tom) too. I have high hopes billowing around me for the time that Kathy is ready to be brought back to you, and I will continue to pray for both of you. God Bless.

  2. Hi Richard, Kathy Abby and Paige!! we had a lovely yoga in the lavender field today and I said a soft little prayer for you all and it floated on the breeze over foggy skies to your hearts!! There were about 6 of us.. I will add Bobby and his family to my prayers! thank you again for writing this blog! It is a masterpiece from your heart!! Love soooo much!! Stacy

  3. Keeping those good thoughts heading your way and an extra dose for Bobby also…
    Thanks for keeping us updated Richard.

  4. I’ve just ordered up a round of prayers and tears and hope and silent willing. For the doctors, the nurses, families, friends – for each of the waited on…and the all of the waiting ones. Strength in numbers, in bountiful measures to everyone. Tomorrow is another day of great possibility. xo

  5. Thank you for sharing with us about Josephine and Bobby, and how reminding us that Love keeps misery at bay. Love makes a community. And as we all know…God IS love. Love is what God IS. And love never fails. Faith, hope, healing, LOVE and light – For Kathy. For Bobby. For Richard. For Josephine. Raising my glass, my heart, and pouring them out for you with tears and gratitude.

  6. Wow, Richard, what a gift for you and Josephine to be able to share with each other. Now we send our healing thoughts to Kathy and Bobby both.
    I’ve been cleaning the house and going through papers, and thinking of our Kathy O (as I like to call her). In amongst my mess of papers are two recipes that I hadn’t filed yet. One for the brussel sprouts Kathy brought to work one day (with olive oil, squeezed orange and grated peel, and white wine), the other for a mushroom risotto that she said you made (also brought to work), both of which were delectable. Also a post-it from Kathy, reminding me to get recommendations on a doctor for her hip! She did so well with that. She’s a proven good healer…..
    Love to you both and the girls also. Take care of yourself, too (that sleep the doctor mentioned).
    Hugs from Sherri.

  7. Richard,
    Thank you again for sharing your innermost thoughts and love. My prayers go out daily. And tonight, I’ll raise a glass of wine to love, healing, gratitude…..

  8. Hello Richard. My name is Deborah and I’m friends with Kathy’s sister Laura. I am so amazed at the strength, courage and love you share through this blog. Sending lots of hugs, love and prayers to you, Kathy and your new friends Josephine and Bobby. Laura has spoken of you, Kathy and your beautiful daughters with so much love and adoration I feel as if I know you all as friends. When Kathy is up to it, I’m looking forward to meeting this beautiful lady who is loved so much.
    -Deb

  9. Dearest Kathy and Richard,

    Christine and I just returned to Morro Bay last evening from a previously scheduled family wedding in Santa Monica this past weekend. We have for the first time this morning been able to read this wonderful love story. Please know that you have both been in our thoughts and prayers – where you will remain until Kathy is fully recovered. Richard, please know that you should feel free to contact us if we can be of assistance to you and your family in any way.

    Bless you both.

    Pat and Christine

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