Hello all,

I’m Richard, Kathy Oehler’s husband. As many of you already know, Kathy has suffered a stroke. She is in a very special stroke care facility, with an exceptional group of health professionals monitoring every facet of her condition, and they are responding with state of the art procedures and medications according to the needs of every unwelcome blip on a large bus of monitors. There is reason to believe that she can have a full recovery.

To all of you who have expressed your love for Kathy, sent up strong prayers, blown positive energy her way, made offers to come to her side, shed tears – just an amazing outpouring befitting that wonderful woman –thank you.

As some of you know, I am a reluctant social media person. But through this blog I hope to be able to keep those of you who want to follow her progress over the critical coming weeks as mindful of her condition as possible.

Some of you have wondered what happened. On Monday night, about 10:30, Kathy went upstairs, saying she would do some reading. I followed minutes later to find her essentially catatonic and upright but wavering. I grabbed her, lowered her to the floor, and called 911. The Morro Bay response team arrived within minutes and took her by ambulance to Sierra Vista Hospital in San Luis Obispo (where, for those of you who might not know, Kathy works as a labor and delivery nurse). Cat scans were done immediately, it was determined that she had suffered a ruptured aneurism, and that its severity warranted an immediate transport, by helicopter, to the special neurologic unit at Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara, where she is now.

Within three hours of her arrival there (and mine, by car) more powerful scans were performed, analyses were made, a top surgical neurologic team was assembled, and her aneurism was patched using an advanced coiling technology.

She has been placed in an induced coma, which I’m told will last at least 6-7 days, depending (big word in the Surgical ICU department) on how she responds. If all goes well, she will then be awakened over a period of a few days.

The two primary issues of immediate concern are 1) that, because of hemorrhaging the vessels of the brain will likely, in time (they anticipate day three, which is today) begin to get “angry” and start to spasm, and 2) that the swelling of the brain may cause other complications. Those outcomes are expected, and they have ways of dealing with them.

Her care is stellar. Over the past two days I’ve met five of her attending nurses, and several others who come into her room to provide careful, knowing, and caring attention to her. Through Kathy I have become friends with many nurses, heard many stories about hospital care giving, and witnessed in my community firsthand over the 20+ years that Kathy has helped deliver babies, many loving testimonies from mothers, fathers, and family how incredibly thankful they are for the care she provided them. I am absolutely certain of this:

Nurses are the unsung heroes of our age.

I returned to Morro Bay yesterday, to take care of necessities and pack for Kathy and me for the longer stay in Santa Barbara. I will be there for the duration of Kathy’s stay, and will try to update this blog daily. For those of you who want to send your thoughts to Kathy, I invite you to do so through this blog. I promise you that I will whisper each and every one to her ear, confident that her coma will not prevent her from hearing them.

Your support is moving – it pounds at the heart, and it helps power Kathy’s healing.

44 Comments on News of Kathy

  1. Kathy, we are thinking of you, and not a minute goes by that we don’t send our love to you and your Richard. Richard wrote a something about how much you’ve given to others in your community, and all of the babies now in the world because of you. I know also you have a special place in each of their little hearts – and the big hearts of the grown-up ones as well, and they too are sending wishes and thoughts your way. Love and hugs, Pam

  2. hi richard, really don’t know what to say. seems i’ve started to write this about a dozen times. and the only thing i can say is that i love you both very much and that i’m sending as much positive energy to you both. please tell her we’re waiting to hear about her miraculous recovery. all my love and best wishes, manny

  3. Dear Kathy, rest in the love that is around you. It’s the strongest force there is and the love of your family and friends is truly boundless. God speed your recovery and return you to your place of joy and compassion, companionship and elegance. With much love and ceaseless prayers—Ruth
    Richard – we’re with you. Ask anything, any time you need it. Surrounding you in love, light, prayer and friendship.

  4. There are hundreds, literally HUNDREDS of friends and even strangers praying for you. Mom, you are so loved. I am thinking of you every second. I love you, and Dickadee so much.

  5. You’re both so strong, healthy, and completely zen that I can’t see anything the best outcome surely awaiting you. Kathy’s undoubtedly deep and positive karma will bring her through – and, Richard, I know still have some great juju from Madame Laveau that might help… ; ) great love to you both and such deep, deep hope for fully restored health.

  6. Yo pal, hang in there, positive vibes from NJ. Tell her I can’t wait to bird with you two soon. Call when u r up to it. We love you two!

  7. Give Kathy my love and let her know that we are all thinking of her! I know she’ll get through this, Kathy is too amazing of a person for this to slow her down. Keep us posted uncle Dick and stay strong.

    Love,
    Max

    • Richard,
      Thank you for the characteristically gentle, articulate and positive delivery of this news. You hit it out of the ballpark in your response. I am so glad Kathy is in the best hands, all around.
      Call any time, for any reason. Let me know if I can help- I will be there in a flash.
      You once described Kathy as having an angelic nature (halloween costume). It is true. That is undoubtedly standing her in good stead.
      Thoughts are with you both, Paige and Abby. I love my people. Joey

  8. Dear Dick. We are so sorry to hear about Kathy. We are praying for her and I knoW for you too We love you guys and are so glad that you Will keep us informed by this blog god bless you
    ..

  9. Please know that my recently-repaired heart is with you, Dick, and Kathy knows it’s been hers since Buffalo days — I do trust I’ll see you-all again next summer.

    love,
    Danny

  10. Richard, I am glad that we were able to speak this morning- and I trust you have relayed my message to Kathy. I’d like you to tell her again how much she is loved, supported with beams of healing energy and prayed for.
    Looking forward to seeing that beautiful, amazing smile of hers~
    With love,
    Lisa and David

  11. Hi Rich,

    The two of you are one of the great love affairs I’ve seen. With all the prayers and people that love her I’m sure she will have a complete recovery.

    Greg

  12. I am sending you so much love and adoration. I am finding this all so surreal, and am in such disbelief. I love you miss Kathy so very much and I know you will come out of this ordeal the strong, amazing, beautiful woman that you are. You and your family are in my thoughts constantly. Sending love your way!!
    Erika

  13. Oh, Richard. I love you both so very, very much; I can’t even begin to put it into words. Give our angel Kathy ALL my love and kisses. XOXO

  14. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you face this challenge and I am sending you all the love I have. Thank you for taking the time to share the story with us all so we can stand beside you and lift our dear friend up. Joanie and I love you both.

  15. Hi Kathy!! I am having little conversations with you all of the time!! I send you kisses and love from the top of the hill that I hike to on the ranch! I hope you feel them tickling your cheek! I believe in the Psychic Beeper so why not the Psychic Cell phone?? I Love you!! I can’t wait to give you a big hug . Sending you Love and Lavender!! Stacy

  16. Oh Kathy. Feel me holding you in that big warm hug we always have for each other in the morning before we begin work and whenever we need that. Seeing your smiling face has brought me much joy. Thank you so much for that angel love for so many years. It has meant so much to me. I love you Kathy! Feel that love and heal quickly. I am anxious to see you soon! My thoughts are with you Richard as you are nursing her back to her previous state of health. oxox

  17. Richard, I just opened our email and am in shock and disbelief! I wondered why all the photos of Kathy were posted on Facebook today. Now, I know. Please tell Kathy we love her and hug her for us. We are also hugging you, too. I will let Paul know tomorrow, he is in Norway with
    his father. Love with all our hearts.

  18. Kathy, I am thinking of you constantly. I know your strength and positive attitude will help you during these times. I hope all the love around you will guide you through this journey… Sending love your way, Christine

  19. Kathy,
    You are an amazing person! Whenever you come into work in morning,I can always count on you to Smile at us night shifters ,sing “good morning!!”, then blind us by flicking on the lights! You have become my sister, and I am praying for your speedy recovery! You have a good attentive husband. I am praying for him also! Get well soon !

  20. Ok Kathy, this is Leslie in Buffalo. I am going to kick your butt if you don’t get your sweet ass together and well again!! You are a fighter! You have tons of work to do that can’t get done without you not to mention the good times and head-bangin’ laughter to look forward to. So Roy and I are counting on a full recovery from you because you are capable of no less. You hear me girl?! Of course you do. And you hear all the people who love you and who will be patient and give you all the love and support you need to get through this. Love you and will see you in Morro Bay!!

  21. Kathy and Richard –
    If the love of the people around you counts for anything Kathi will be back on her feet tomorrow. If Les and I can do anything just nod in our direction. Our love and thoughts are with you. Roy

  22. Kathy and Richard,

    How upsetting! Thoughts of you have been going through my head ever since I received Richard´s email, Kathy. I can´t imagine something so small halting someone full of life! How fragile we all are. May you have a speedy and full recovery and get back to your lovely full spirited self right away. My mother asked me to convey all her love and prayers. We are thinking of you. Get well soon.
    Love Nathalie, Dana, Kristín and little Sæþór xxx

  23. I’m so shocked to get this news. Please get better. Keeping good thoughts for you. And Richard, take care of yourself so you can be there to help Kathy in her recovery. Love, Kathy

  24. Good morning Kathy and Richard! I am not in the least surprised to see all these notes and love being sent to you. When you are up and about and back home in Morro Bay, you’re going to have a great time reading through each note, and thinking about the shenanigans you’ve enjoyed with the sender. Lots of hugs from Portland this morning! Pam

  25. Kathi and Richard —

    Two of the kindest, generous, and fun loving people I have ever met. I vividly remember the first time I met you in Morro Bay and I quickly realized why my dad spoke so highly of you both throughout my youth. You taught me that starfish were okay to hold along with the joys of the west coast lifestyle. I wish you a healthy recovery Kathi and I am sending you both positive thoughts. You are two beautiful people and I’m sure you have tons of loved ones reaching out to help, but if anything is needed I’m a few hours away so don’t hesitate to ask. Much love to you both!
    Cooper

  26. Richard and Kathy, Paige and Abby, please know and feel all our love and care in this trying time. Get well, Kathy. Love, Paul, Nancy, and Sally

  27. Happy to hear you’ve had a good Day 4 Kathy!! Sun is out in Buffalo so naturally I’m thinking of you laughing. One day at a time girl! The sun will be waitin’ on ya! Love – Leslie

  28. Kathy, please know that there are so many of us–both in heaven and here on earth–sending you love and power for a full recovery. I love you so much and have so many wonderful memories of you from my childhood and more recently. I cannot decide if I love watching you bake pies or dance more. I look forward to seeing you do both very soon (OK, I’ll bake–you get to watch next time). Love and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. Kathy and family. Our thoughts and love are with you each and every day.
    Lisa and David

  30. Richard, I can imagine how physically, mentally, spiritually challenging this period of waiting is for you. Please know that our thoughts, energy and love are with both of you. Roy, Les, Cooper and Morgan

  31. Dick, thank you for keeping us up to date in your beautiful way of writing. You and KathY are in our praYers we love You both so much. As you know my sister doesn’t hAve A computer And I don’t know if she knows About this I hAve tried to cAll her we are out of town and our phone service has been skechy. We are at a hotel noW and I Will call her this morning. I know many people are praying and prayer is powerful. God is powerful and he is the healer.xoxo

  32. Hi Richard and Kathy- Sending lots of love and healing energy your way. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. Big hugs! Jules

  33. Kathy, Everyone at work is thinking and praying for you..You are so cared for and loved here by ALL your coworkers..We miss you and pray for a speedy, full recovery..Thank you to you Richard for updating all of us..Please take care..Joanna

  34. Kathy, I too, like all of us, whether at work, afar, family, close friends, dearest loved ones, we all miss your beautiful smile, and sunny personality. You light up my morning after a night shift, and I miss you. So much Love, and positive energy surrounds you, and is flowing to you; I know it’s seeping into every inch of your vibrant being. You will be well again… sweet dreams beautiful woman. Love Anne

  35. Hello Richard. This is Linda (Back Bay Betty). I do not get to work with Kathy here at the hospital since I am not allowed to float up to labor, but I am working up on the mother baby unit today and was given the news as well as the link to your wonderful blog. Kathy is very blessed to have you in her life, and just by reading, I can tell what an amazing agent of healing you already are for her. As a critical care neuro trauma nurse of 22 years, I have much experience with brain injured people and I want to extend my support to you and Kathy in whatever ways you may need it. Your excellent team of experts at Cottage will guide you through this initial acute period, but once Kathy reaches the rehab phase and comes back home, please know that you have an experienced friend and neighbor to participate in her recovery. Please whisper to Kathy that she is strong and powerful, that her vasospasms will be minimal or nonexistent, that she will be free from complications and achieve a complete recovery. It will take time, but time is the best healer! Call me any time at 805-234-3161. Take good care and remember me when the dust settles.

  36. Kathy, you are one of the most uplifting, positive, beautiful people I know. Not only do I respect and admire you as a nurse, you are an amazing colleague and friend to all. You are loved by everyone who is graced with your beautiful spirit. Sending love, prayers, and continuous positive healing thoughts . Richard, like Amanda said, your and Kathy’s relationship is what we all strive for . Take good care of yourself…you and Kathy have many more memories and adventures to share. Thank you so much for updating us. Love you Kathy and can’t wait to see your smiling face again!

    Amy

  37. Kathy, You are such an amazing woman and nurse. You have been one of my idols for years now. I really wish a full and quick recovery for you and for your beloved Richard so that you can contiune with your amazing life and never look back. You are on my mind constantly, I keep seeing you everywhere and everything reminds me of you. I love you!! I am sending you the most healing thoughts I can. Love Jillian. xoxo

  38. Richard, when Kathy reads what YOU have written here, she will never be able to focus on the deep and abiding love of friends and family, heart-struck and blinded as she will be with your written expressions of love for her. Such love letters every woman dreams about reading, usually written only on the heart of her lover. She will cherish them, as you cherish her. And your love will continue to sustain each other. We can only add our meagre offerings, as bursting and urgent as our thoughts and prayers are for the two of you.

  39. Dear, Dear Kathy: This is your old friend and colleague Susan Rasmussen. I just heard of your aneurysm. I know you well, we know you well. When given a challenge you take it on. You are a fighter, and don’t give up easily. In the midst of your battle now, know that you are loved and needed. You will be in my daily prayers until I see your beautiful smile again.

  40. Hi Dick,

    Reading every day and thinking about you both. You’ve been inspiring in your strength and love. Thinking of you both constantly,

    Greg

  41. I am so sorry to hear about Kathy. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I met Kathy in 1998 when I began my 10 week stay in the hospital prior to having my daughter. Kathy and the other nurses were great and made me feel at home. Which led me to nursing school and in 2003 I began working along side your wife in labor and delivery. She’s a kind loving, caring woman with a beautiful smile and giggle. Give her a hug from Dorina

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